Mindful Parenting

We are responsible for giving our children the tools they need to succeed long-term.  If they don’t understand it now, they will one day, don’t worry.  What we sacrifice, the boundaries we set, the chores, the screen time cut off will all be appreciated tomorrow.  

If you and your children aren’t seeing eye to eye, it’s because you’re not supposed to that day and that’s okay, tomorrow will be better.  You’re the adult, just be patient.  But, with yourself first.  As children grow, they need their desires, and emotions to be validated stage by stage.  Giving that to your children starts with validating those wants, and needs for yourself first.  It doesn’t mean that you have to indulge in everything you feel all the time, or even often.  But, validating yourself as a valuable person in this life and the lives of others is a necessary component to self-confidence and overall empowerment.  Your thoughts and feelings don’t have to define you, but they matter and contribute to how you advance in your life.  Allowing ourselves to experience those thoughts and feelings prevents us from avoiding necessary internal experiences.  Children who grow up without being able to experience, or express their emotions in healthy ways are more likely to become emotionally stunted and unable to maintain genuine connections or relationships with others.  Emotional regulation is an important part of self-development, and a process that we as parents should exercise with ourselves and our children.

Maybe you have been working out, re-shaping your diet, and you don’t feel like you’re seeing a change.  You’re putting in the work, doing your best with your diet, but to no avail.  Validate your efforts, no matter how small they are.  Your accomplishments are yours first, even if they serve an entire community.  Your successes can be validated and appreciated by you.  The best reward and recognition come from within.  Is this egotistical, or arrogant?  Not necessarily.  You don’t have to put your accomplishments on display at all.  Sometimes it can just be a glass of wine and a movie, a day at the spa, an afternoon to yourself, taking a walk, a bath, whatever culminates a big or little success that you deserve to appreciate yourself for.  No one even has to know.  Honestly, those are the best times for me. 

At the end of the day, it is we who must treat ourselves with respect and validation. We must own our successes and failures as badges of the same value.  Life is a field in which we must learn to welcome the struggles and challenges with the same open hands we would the happy, good times.  This is where mindfulness comes in.  No matter what life offers, the bitter or the sweet, the moment is for us to value.  

Our children are watching, even when we don’t know they are.  They are absorbing and cultivating these same exercises within themselves. Practicing mindfulness within is where our fortitude lies.  The blood that runs through our veins connects us to our Ancestral lineage which has everything to offer.  Being at one with that blood keeps the memory and validation of our very identities.  If we can find harmony, compassion, validation, and acceptance of what that blood represents, our children benefit through our example.